brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
