i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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