Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dicks are not precious.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
