Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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