somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Randomize
