So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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