That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
