I think I am morally bankrupt
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
