its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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