Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
