my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Did I show you my penis last night?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
