Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
