Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
The air taste purple.
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