Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
