i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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