She is in my trunk
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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