4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
