I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize