Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
