Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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