so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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