after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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