Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just googled if crying burns calories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize