There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
