and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
