Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Randomize
