In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I love having hate sex.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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