im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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