When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
