the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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