I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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