What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
