do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
