You're completely useless in the revolution.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
