i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
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