That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
