i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
