whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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