I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
