i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
