porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
