i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
