Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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