so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just had sex on a roof
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
