Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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