I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
