We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
