Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
