R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
