This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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