writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
