Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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