I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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