are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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