We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I will die if light touches me.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
