The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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