so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
